Perfect name for the stage I'm in now; floundering.  I can't seem to stick to what my dr requires, which is no news to me.  I knew from the start I couldn't because it's so severely strict that it's not a "life plan".  I can't stick to low fat or low carb or really anything right now.

I am now up to 109 lbs lost and the past 9 lbs have been pure misery trying to go forward but afraid of getting there.  What first drove me to change my life, is no longer there and not a point in my thoughts.  Daily there creeps up all of these things that I never imagined before. 

How is it I've come this far and regressed so far into insecurity that Im shocked at myself?  Something in me or my life has to change for me to go forward...what it is I don't know yet.

I've lost 36% of my bodyweight and gone down to just being in the "overweight" category.  I'm down under 30% bodyfat and a size I can probably live with BUT I can't stop here - I have to accomplish my lifetime goal; which is to lose another 40 lbs.

After almost 15 months, Im so sick of salads; protein shakes and vegetables I could throw them at passing cars and not feel guilty :P

We went out to eat for our youngest daughter's bday and took pictures before.  Here is me with my oldest children in 1997 (175) and me with my youngest children in 2007 (190):

September 2007 - 109 lbs lost to date

This blue shirt is a medium and it's a bit too big.

9/25/2007 Taking a much needed break and just "letting go".